I went out for dinner and drinks Wednesday night with my best friend. A much-needed catch-up time since she’s been busy dealing buying a townhouse with her finace and I’ve been a crying, messy poetry hermit.
I’m not sure how we ended up on the subject (perhaps the maragtrias) but we ended up talking about all the things women do, but we never really admit to. It just so happens that hours after hanging out I saw a list of things women do but don’t talk about.
Now I somewhat agree to this list and I think depending on one’s own pet peeves and personal preferences some of these are either, “oh, yeah, I do that all the time” or “omg, gross no…I have limits.” For example, the article had, “turning underwear inside out because you ran out of clean ones.” No, have you been a woman? That fabric is all up in there, turning it inside out will do nothing for you. I say, “no clean underwear? Well, the perfect reason to go commando.
A list of things my friend and I admit to doing:
- Wearing the a pair of jeans three times before you wash them. (If they don’t smell, why wash them?)
- Febreze-ing or spraying perfume on your jeans (Just in case they smell a little…you never know)
- Spilling salsa or guacamole on your shirt and removing it with a tortilla chip (this is me…all the time.)
- A bowl of cheese or a stick of cheese. My friend and I did this all the time in the Midwest. I even bought a separte brick of cheese, that was only for me. I called it, “my snack cheese.”
- The boob hold. I am the queen of the boob hold that one time I accidently start just holding my boob in front of my guy friend (outside my shirt, of course). But holding your boob is wonderful. It’s great for reading or pondering life in bed.
- Not washing bras enough. (I mean have you ever had to?) It sucks.
- Yes, Missy Elliot is the music for dancing in your underwear.
- No, girls don’t have pillow fights, but I have been apart of a few spin the bottle games.
- My friend went to a bachelorette party and saw someone’s underwear gift was little mermaid underwear, so she went out and bought some and she says they are the most comfortable underwear. Actually she was wearing them during our talk.
- The quick and silent poop in public. This is a gift I’m sure all women are born with.
- Pants day? Long Sleeve day? Probably mean we didn’t shave.
- I don’t know if anyone else does this, but since I’m single and not having sex, underwear selection isn’t a big deal. But I know when it’s time to do laundry because I’m stuck wearing all my nice lacy underwear. The last few days have been a blur of lacy reds, purple tied together with lacy ribbons and lacy black thongs. I need to do my laundry.
- I do have “period underwear” a select group of underwear that are on their way out of my life but before I throw them away they are go to when I’m bleeding out of my orifice.
- One of my old roommates came up to me before we moved out and said the greatest lesson she learned from me was the art of cleaning one’s room before a man came over. She said she’ll always remember what I told her, “hide your pillow pet, because what you’re about to do, no pillow pet should see.”
- Women tell each other everything about the guys they’ve been with. Of course depending on the level of friendship certain things may be left out. But believe me, if I have a close friend, they know the good kissers from the sloppy kisser I’ve experienced. They know the embarrassing stories and the bad sex.