Weird Habit #77

I’m probably a pretty normal person. I can’t keep regular sleeping hours, I enjoy food and TV show indulgences and I can’t name each of the state capitals but I can name all the restaurants and fast food places within 25 miles of where I’m at. So I’m fairly normal I think, I hope.

But I have my own unique set of traits and quirks. One of them was in full force last night until 3AM.

I’ve been in a crappy ass mood the last few weeks and I know I’ve been the most negative person ever. I’m still stressed and I’ll always be stressed. It’s my survival strategy, or my way to get my lazy ass off the floor and to stop eating the brownie batter.

Since I have tomorrow off I rented three movies from the video store last night. Yes, the video store. my parents have been going to the same little video store since I was a little kid. The little video store always makes me smile because its such a small town thing, to have a video store still.

I watched the film The Theory of Everything. Pretty film, the images were very pretty, the continuing theme of circles, moving inward, outward and the movement of backwards to meet at a point. I enjoyed the small detail when Stephen Hawking (Eddie Redmayne) watches the others move their fingers, pictures himself picking up the pen. It’s an accurate image to portray and a different way to show being trapped.

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Then after the movie came weird habit #77. It took ahold of me like an OCD patient in a filing disaster zone. I cleaned my room. But I didn’t just clean my room because I dust and clean every other week or so. This was pulling stuff out my closet, my filing drawers and I re-organized everything. Movie ended at midnight and I stayed up cleaning and organizing until 3AM. Then I got myself off, imagined how nice it would be to have a ball gag (because I’m loud and I have to hold it in).

And then I fell asleep.

 

Bad Dreams

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a bad dream, but last night I woke up around 3am from a terrible dream and I had to turn on my lights to fall back asleep.

I don’t remember much of the dream, thank goodness. But I remember there was someone shooting people. Everyone was trying to get away, but most didn’t get away. There was this one part I really visually remember: there was a car accident during the whole shooting. one car on top of another car. The car on top crushed the person driving in the other car and all, I remember, is pieces of brain all over the asphalt and I remember not wanting to look at the persons crushed body. I think I knew the person in the car too, my friends little sister.

It was a freaky dream.

Dreams like that shake me for the rest of the night and into the morning.