The biggest Jerk Hook up


The first time Joel and I almost dated, I met Ben and I should have noticed the obvious creepy ass signs from this guy, but I was a pretty much an internal emotion wreck from Chance just vanishing, plus Joel’s lack of communication about his feelings and my emotional baggage from the ex that had cheated on me was springing back open. So I would have fucked anything decent enough and had a solid pair of hands. He was the one that creepy guy mentioned when at a party where I wasn’t wearing a top at my roommates party. I was wearing a top, but I took my undershirt and only had my lace top on, so you could see my bra but in a way that screams, “this would be sexier if I wasn’t at a kegger for Easter.”

Since I was going through a fear of someone walking away phase (still kind of have this issue) I wasn’t in the best place. And Ben started texting me out of the blue, to the point he wanted me to come over my night. I was between wanting to (sad, emotional mess me) and really not wanting this (smart me). I decided to go, against my better judgement. I think the big deciding factor was that Ben was good friends with Chance, actually he lived next door to Chance. It was my little “HA! Take that Chance!” Stupid.

I went over to Ben’s. I don’t think his roommates were home, actually I think they were both out of town. He was watching The Simpsons (classy…not) and I’m sure he was mostly naked. I think he had to steal a condom from his roommate (dumbass).

Mind you this guy was a year or two older than me. (he was like 27). Mind you he was done with school and working full time.

All I remember is how uncomfortable I was. Not because I lacked trust, or I was emotional going through all this past stuff but because he made me feel uncomfortable. The way his mouth was open, the way his eyes looked at me. Again I hooked up with a guy who saw me as a slab of meat.

Also, I broke my rule about hooking up and not staying the night (I stayed the night). It was one of the worst night stays too. I stayed as far away as I could. Which wasn’t very far for a double, which was basically up against the wall with my back facing him. The next day I woke up, told him I didn’t want any of our friends to know we hooked-up and he agreed by stating “good, because I’m trying to get back together with my ex girlfriends anyways and I think it may happen soon.”

I went out to the bars after my already drunk roommate begged me to go to Wing Wednesday. Which is cheap chicken wings and $2 pitchers, which also became the night I saw four guys I had slept with. (Mitt, Chance, Joel and Ben) Which prompted me to think of this song:

I was avoiding Mitt and Chance. I wanted to hit on Joel, which was a serious of dirty text messages between us. And then Ben being passive and asking me why I was hitting on Joel. In my head, I thought, “umm we just hooked up.”

Ben continued to bug me through texting and Facebook messenger. I continued to ignore him and pursue Joel. Which caused the first time Joel and I tried to get together, but it came crashing down because Ben decided to tell Joel he had hooked up with me! I guess this bothered Joel and on some level I understood this, but on another level I was like, “dude we barely hooked up and just because you’re friends with him you don’t want to date me?”

Then I found out Ben was getting together with his ex and I was fucking pissed because he ruined my chances with the guy I wanted to hook up with and he got to go back fucking his girlfriend and he was very cautious about anyone saying anything. For example, I found out through my roommates that Ben asked Joel and my roommates not to invite me to a party because he feared I would say something to his girlfriend. Which prompted my email to him: It went along the lines of how we just had sex and I was a grown ass woman and wasn’t and didn’t give a flying fuck to start any shit. Also, I added how inappropriate it was he thought it was ok to tell my friends I was not welcomed to a party, at a house he didn’t even live in. 

So I deleted him of Facebook because he still wouldn’t stop messaging me. He still tried to message me so I blocked that him.

A year later I went through my phase “oh I don’t need to block all these ex’s. And Ben even sent me a friend request. Since another one of my ex’s and I were on better terms I thought why not, sure we can manage to be friends on a social networking site. Then I noticed a month later after HE SENT the friend request!! I want to make this clear, HE SENT the friend request, he deleted me!

So I blocked him once and for all and that was the end of it. Fuck, he was such a creepy, off, jerky, asshole.

Buh-bye Ben






As my previous post involving Marcus, Brian was very much a quick side step that I really hate talking about, or thinking about. I have spent a good portion of the last four years trying to forget about him.

Brian was a drug dealer, who had recently left prison.

I know.

I really know how to pick a winner huh?

Brian smoked too much, had terrible tattoos of poorly drawn out women’s breasts and had a lisp due to his ugly tongue piercing.

Like I said, I had a night in question with him and Marcus and I’m going to leave it at that. But about a month afterwards I was pretty broken up over Marcus (ugh stupid me!) I think I wanted to make Marcus jealous. Yeah, have sex with Brian…good idea. NOT!

So we had sex, it was bad. He was probably the small penis I have ever seen and he just smelled of alcohol and cigarettes.

I think he may have liked me a bit. Or at least liked the idea of me being a regular sex buddy. He continued to want to hang our. Go to clubs with him, go out to eat. I really had to do some major blocking to get away from him. Really wanted to block him from my memory.

Few years later I heard he got married. Huh.


So that was Brian, the drug dealer.